Pocket Wizard is All Pockets! What’s in Pocket Wizard’s Pockets?
- String
- Twine
- Thread
- Yarn
- Cord
- Musical
- Rope
- Silk
- Hemp
- Spiderweb
- Bedsheets
- Hair
- Synthetic
- Comb
- Switchblade
- Wide-toothed, Sandalwood
- Beard, Whalebone
- Absolutely Filthy & Gunked-up
- One of those gimmicky massage combs that don’t work
- That desert comb from Space Balls
- Keys
- To a local dungeon
- To the Wizard’s vehicle
- To a clockwork contraption
- To The City
- Piano
- The Stygian Library
- Quill and small notebook
- Names and addresses of other spellcasters
- Names and addresses of other spellcasters that have been conspicuously crossed out
- Doodles of the wizard’s OC—do not steal!
- Phone numbers of various demons and elder beings
- Material component shopping list
- Blueprints for a magic wand railgun
- Makeup Kit
- Spirit glue for getting those eyebrows and beard to stick
- For touch ups on a night out
- For switching into drag persona
- Enchanted—actually molds and transforms one’s face
- Just used for the handy fold out mirror
- Summons a fairy named Giorgio who does the full mani/pedi and salon treatment. Tip well or else.
- Fire Making
- Flint/Steele
- Matches
- Bowdrill and tender
- Fire Syringe
- A modern zippo lighter
- Bat Guano (For Fireball)
- Caltrops
- Classic Jack-shaped
- Barbed
- Board of crow’s feet
- Explosive
- Anti-tank hedgehogs
- Actually just a bunch of d4s (and a copy of Caltrop Core)
- Chalk
- Plain
- Children’s rainbow set
- That really smooth and coveted Japanese brand
- Climbing chalk
- Powdered chalk
- Silver infused (for quick anti-demon circles)
- Crowbar
- T-Head
- Nail Puller
- Aligning Bar
- Double Claw
- Adjustable
- Full of drunk, angry crows
- Hammer
- Rubber Mallet
- Sledgehammer
- Copper Raising Hammer
- Physician’s Reflex Hammer
- Dulcimer Hammer
- Jack
- Light Source
- Candle
- Enclosed Lantern
- Oil Lamp (1% chance of containing a Jinn)
- Torch
- Modern Flashlight
- Flashbang Grenade
- Pole
- Fishing
- 10’
- Collapsible
- Vaulting
- Immovable
- Compliant
- Rations
- Hardtack
- Pemmican
- Iron Rations
- Some delicious regional packed lunch rations
- MONSTER CUISINE
- Modern MRE
- Magnifying Glass
- Only makes the user’s eye look bigger.
- Actually an electron microscope.
- Enlarges whatever is looked at.
- Casts Scorching Ray in bright sunlight.
- Makes trails glow faintly
- Let’s you see all the bacteria covering everything
- Spyglass
- Eyepiece coated in shoe polish.
- Telescopes out to dozens of yards long.
- Folds space instead of magnifying anything.
- … attached to a sniper rifle.
- Literally. It animates on tiny limbs and runs off to spy for them.
- Only shows things from an overlapping plane of existence.
- The Astral Pond
- Positive Vibes Plane
- Negative Vibes Plane
- The Acid Trip Dimension
- The Shadow Realm, Yugi-Boy
- The Elemental Plane of…
- Smog
- Candy
- Plastic
- Rheum
- Booze
- MEAT
- Map
- Whenever consulted it shows the local region within a day’s journey of the reader
- It is a pirate’s treasure map complete with riddles and an “X”
- A random dungeon
- A very inaccurate world map with “Here Be Dragons” written over “uncharted” lands
- A very accurate world map, a with a strong enough magnifying glass you can see the top of your own head
- A hastily scribbled map on a napkin, it’s hard to make heads or tails of it.
- Compass
- It points to Magnetic North
- It points to True North
- It points towards your greatest need
- It points towards your greatest desire
- It points towards the place that most needs your help
- It points to the place furthest from life and light
- Clock
- Wrist mounted sundial
- Complex water clock contraction
- Digital Mickey Mouse wristwatch
- A variety of sandglasses measuring from a second up to a millennium.
- A tiny imp trapped inside of a box that yells the time when consulted
- An entire grandfather clock
- Un/Holy Symbol
- Crusted with dried blood
- Glows in the presence of believers
- Shouts vitriol in the presence of heretics
- Is actually chocolate wrapped in foil
- Conspicuously dented
- Returns like a boomerang if thrown
- Clothing
- Spare Robes
- Something hideously unfashionable
- Something incredibly fashionable
- Disguise kits
- Standard Diving Dress
- A pressurized spacesuit
- A Book
- A Tantalizing Tome
- A Book of 1001 Knock Knock Jokes
- Pocket Translator: Common to R’lyehian
- Pocket Guide to Myconids
- The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric & Discredited Diseases
- Meti’s Sword Manual (Reach heaven by violence)
- Their Spellbook
- Filled with research for a new spell
- Stitched together from other spellbooks
- Conspicuously covered in anti-piracy watermarks
- Leaves and flowers pressed between the pages
- More Cool S doodles than spells
- Marginalia all about mundane hobbies
- Gardening
- Crocheting
- Birdwatching
- Geocaching
- Dorodango
- Underwater Basketweaving
- Something Bottled
- Mundane Drugs
- Street Drugs
- Wizard Drugs
- Their Familiar
- A weird Bug
- Something they took from a Troll’s stomach
- A Tiny Prince
- A Magic Sword
- A recent magical thrift store purchase
- An unsigned demonic contract
- Loot from The Future
- THE ORCUS
- A full sized automaton
- A Dragon!
- A large curio cabinet filled with a vast array of collectables.
- A spring mounted boxing glove
- Spiked
- On Fire
- Spiked and on Fire
- Squeaks like a toy on impact
- Knocks the user back instead
- Seems to be sentient
- A coin purse in the shape of a frog
- It’s an actual dried frog
- It’s a living frog
- It is crocheted and has googly eyes
- It contains the wizards pills
- The coins are all in foreign currencies
- Contains a single Occultum Coin
- A game
- Dice
- Cards
- Chess/Checkers/Backgammon board
- Entire boxed set for Thieves and Treasures
- All the equipment needed for a large field sport such as Football or Polo or Hockey
- A non-trademarked handheld gaming system
- A pile of Zines
- Minicomics
- Niche Musics Zines
- Fandom Zines
- TTRPG Zines
- Punk/Anarchist Zines
- Their very own first self produced zine complete with hand stapling
- Gemstones
- Semi-precious
- Peridot
- Garnet
- Lapis Lazuli
- Onyx
- Tourmaline
- Citrine
- Precious
- Ruby
- Sapphire
- Emerald
- Colorless Diamond
- Colored Diamond (Black, Blue, Green, Orange, Yellow, Pink)
- Octarine Crystal
- Plastic fakes of the above
- Prone to floating around your head if released
- Contains the life force of would-be pickpockets
- Just a shiny rock they picked up
- A weapon
- Bladed
- Blunt
- Polearm
- Pre-Modern Ranged
- Sling
- Bow/Arrow
- Crossbow
- Musket
- Darts
- Tsar Cannon
- Explosive
- Greek Fire
- Simple Rockets
- Handcannon
- Caltrop Grenade
- Stick of TNT
- Just a huge barrel of gunpowder
- Modern
- QCQ Manual
- Shotgun
- Flamethrower
- Howitzer
- Gatling Gun
- Taser
- Futuristic
- Mono-atomic wire
- Particle Disintegrator Beam
- Satellite Cannon
- Beam Saber
- Mini-nuke launcher
- The Lazy Gun
- Communication Device
- Homing Pigeon
- Tiny and fast Homunculus
- A trapped wind
- Crystal Ball
- A pager
- A Nokia
- Repair Kit For
- Cloak/Hat/Pocket/Fabric
- Spectacles
- Wands/Staves
- Walls/Ceilings/Structures
- Homunculi
- THE VERY FABRIC OF REALITY
- PONDERING
- ORB
- PYRAMID
- MIRROR
- PINWHEEL
- TORUS
- TESSERACT
- Manacles
- Steel
- Spiked
- Silvered/Enchanted for Demons/Spirits/Undead Etc
- Thumbcuffs
- With attached fetters
- Pink and Fuzzy
- An empty wrapper from
- A Sorcerer Snacks Mana-Bar
- A White Castle burger
- A Vegan Pasty
- A Wizard Wars TCG Booster Pack
- A Sea Monkey kit
- A Familiar Treat
- Mail
- Wizard College Loan Bills
- Hate mail from rival wizard
- Love letter from rival wizard
- Junk mail advert for Third Eye Surgery
- Their own Wanted Poster
- Fundraising for a local charity
- Pictures
- Of their many may nephews, nieces, and niblings
- Of their old adventuring party
- Of their familiar in various costumes
- Of their rival in a compromised situation
- Of their vacation through The Realm of Madness
- Selfies
- Candy
- After Dinner Mints (all melted together)
- Those little strawberries candies grandma kept in a little glass dish
- Caramel Cubes
- Root Beer Barrels
- Lemon Drops
- Humbugs
- Furniture
- A 6’ tall lamp
- A full length mirror
- A papasan chair
- Coat Rack (complete with coats and an umbrella)
- Dinner table complete with chairs, silverware, glassware, tablecloth etc.
- A potted plant
- Variegated Monstera
- Boobie Cactus
- String of Toads
- Pothos Cebu Blue
- Heart-Shaped Philodendron
- Mutant Giant Venus Flytrap
- Instrument
- Woodwind
- Picolo
- Flute
- Bagpipes
- Kazoo
- Panpipe
- Alphorn
- Brass
- Trumpet
- Tuba
- Trombone
- Saxaphone
- Vuvuzela
- Conu
- String
- Lute
- Harp
- Nyckelharpa
- Dulcimer
- Double Bass
- Two Necked Flying V Electric Guitar
- Percussion
- Kettledrums
- Gong
- Tambourine
- Handpans
- Marimba
- Full 360 degree drum kit
- Keyboard
- Piano
- Accordion
- Harpsichord
- Carillon
- Melodica
- Full sized baroque pipe organ
- Other
- Theremin
- Photoplayer
- Otamatone
- Keytar
- Glass Armonica
- DJ Set
- Moths
- Who proceed to eat all nearby clothing
- Who fly off to the moon, their true home
- Who fuse and grow a massive Moth Kaiju
- Who transform into Mothmen
- Who transform into Sexy Mothmen
- Who seek out the nearest fire and explode per Fireball when they make contact
- Improbably Heavy Object
- An Anvil
- An iron safe
- The Húsafell Stone
- An anchor
- A 16 ton weight
- A teaspoon of Neutron Star
- Item from the Acme Corporation Catalog
- Jet Powered Unicycle
- Giant Hitchhiker Thumb
- Tornado Seeds (Just add water)
- Invisible Paint
- Instant Road
- Giant rubber band
- Ring
- Generic Magic Ring (note to self make ring generator)
- Plastic ring from a 50 cents gumball machine
- A wedding band (still attached to a finger)
- A doughnut (it might be enchanted)
- Etsy polymer clay earrings
- Dark Lord’s ring waiting for a hero to deliver to a volcano
- Button
- Just the sort that you need to fix your trousers
- Enchanted to lock whatever pocket that it holds closed
- A stamped election button for the mayoralty of a long vanished city
- Novelty fish shaped button for fastening their waterproof spare cloak
- Randomly says YES or NO when pressed, the wizard uses this to help with binary decisions.
- A white, four holed, big, round, thick button. Smells faintly of toad.
- A means of transport
- A magic broom
- A Terrible Steed
- A bicycle
- A palanquin with four animated mannequins to carry it
- A portable portal
- A Leyland Cars Mini 1000 Mark IV
- Glasses
- Reading glasses
- Sunglasses
- Thick prescription glasses
- X-Ray Glasses
- Night vision Goggles
- Aviation Goggles
- Common Spell Materials
- Eye of Newt
- Toe of Frog
- Wool of Bat
- Tongue of Dog
- A bone from a crossroads grave
- The last breath of another wizard
- Salt
- Iodized
- Blessed
- Of the Earth
- Gourmet
- Smelling
- “Bath”
- Look a DISTRACTION
- SMOKE BOMB
- A surprise zombie!
- A fireworks display
- Entirely too many doves
- Same as above—but they explode after a few moments
- “Look an idiot!”
- There used to be something else but now there is d100 Goblins
- A trophy
- For excellent in arithromancy
- Darwin Award. for evolving a kangaroo with a naturally occuring bag of holding pouch
- For completion of “The 12 Steps towards fighting mana potion addiction”
- Former Guinness world record for most pockets—beaten by The Pouch, a sentient amalgam of pockets
- Participation award for Maniacal Laughter Contest
- For Wizard of the Year, probably stolen
- Wizard meds
- For blood pressure
- For ADHD, anxiety, depression, cholesterol, ulcers, incontinence, allergies…
- Clinical trial placebos
- To silence the voices of the spells in their head
- Anti-aging (doesn’t work)
- Erectile dysfunction
- A sick-looking skateboard
- Covered in vinyl stickers
- Rat Fink design
- Plays music from Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2
- Has wings for sick airtime
- Invisible, except the wheels
- Jet Engine Attachments
- Contraceptive Device
- Lambskin
- Silphium
- Plans B-Z
- Wall of Force Scroll
- Spermicidal Nanobots
- Novelty Giant Sized Condom
- Magic Seeds
- instantly grows into a beanstalk reaching to Cloudcuckooland
- Grows into a majestic oak filled with chocolate making elves
- Feeds on blood to become a giant singing, flesh hungry flower
- For growing particularly potent marijuana
- Grows into rare sapient pearwood
- Eat and bathe for instant bubble bath
- Lint
- Just plain old lint
- This bit has some old gum it in
- Ooh a paperclip
- Oof this kinda smells like the inside of an ogre’s bellybutton
- Hey these little dust bunnies are cute
- OH SHIT LINT ELEMENTAL!
- An entire civilization
- Teeth
- Their own spares
- Dragon’s teeth for Spartoi agriculture
- Ork Teeth (paid for services rendered)
- Teeth stolen from a Tooth Fairy, potent for control magic
- From other wizards, won fair and square in bare knuckle brawls
- A golden tooth from the mouth of a sky giant–who wants it back.
- Handkerchief
- Crusted with years of snot
- Magically fresh and clean each time it is pulled out
- Wrapped into a bandana for when they get serious (or just sweaty)
- On a stick and used as a impromptu semaphore or white flag of surrender
- Used exclusively for Occult Morris Dances
- Tied to an (possibly) infinitely long chain of colorful hankerchiefs
- Pen
- Reed
- Quill (If intentionally broken it turns into a Roc)
- Endless Ink Fountain
- Zero-G
- Glass Calligraphy
- Ballpoint Bic
- A film projector with
- An old presentation from wizard school
- reels of expertly dissected insect specimens
- a lethally boring documentary on pottery
- an embarrassing slideshow of photos from the last office party
- detailed plans on how to overthrow the government of a micronation
- Hundreds of hours of nostalgic commercials from the ’80s and ’90s.
- More Anachronistic Tech
- A jukebox filled with vinyls
- A WWII Gas Mask
- An ACN 3505 5# mini portable television
- A Walkman
- A Kodak Brownie Camera.
- Spare Hat
- Traditional star covered pointy cap
- Umbrella Hat
- Flight-Capable Propellor Beanie .
- Collapsible Top Hat (with portal to Elemental Plane of Rabbits)
- Cowboy Stetson (that can actually hold 10 gallons)
- An exceptionally tall toque (maybe inhabited by an intelligent rat)
- Taxidermy
- Of their previous familiars.
- Apothecary Alligator (stuffed with everything from said apothecary)
- Apothecary Alligator (animated and/or still alive)
- Mice, dressed in various outfits
- Of a random monster from a monster manual of your choosing
- Their former master’s head (occasionally consulted, always dissatisfied)
- Discount Potion
- Potion of Healing (Watered Down)
- Potion of Enhanced Senses (turns you into a Sensory Homunculus)
- Potion of Active Dreaming (Fall into an unwakeable slumber for 8 hours, Sleepwalk/Act Out dreams during that time)
- Philter of Dove (Turns you into a pigeon)
- Potion of Sliming ( Ooze thick phlegm slime from every orifice, somehow very sticky and very slippery at the same time)
- This is just lemonade!
- Dangerous Prank Device
- Joy Buzzer (50% of actual electrocution)
- Whoopee Cushion (50% of releasing a toxic cloud)
- Exploding Cigar (50% of max power Fireball)
- Spicy Candy (50% of causing the consumer to breath fire)
- Can of nuts with spring loaded snake (50% of swarm of actual snakes)
- Squirting Flower (50% to cause severe hallucinations)
- Personal Hygiene
- Breath Spray (MEGA MINT)
- Antiperspirant Stick (A wand that transfers the wizard’s underarm sweat to another target)
- Insta-growth Hair Tonic (only works for growing beards and body hair)
- Perfume (Different order with each spray, infinite possibilities)
- Valet in a Can (summons an extra dimensional Valet to dress, clean, and generally groom)
- Magic Eraser (will erased anything with enough scrubbing and elbow grease )
- A Sign
- Open for Business
- The End is Near
- A modern stop sign
- A Protest Sign (Equal Rights for Uplifted Entities)
- A large neon arrow
- Something situationally appropriate and witty or desperate
- Stolen/Illicit Goods
- A variety of stolen and off brand look-alike watches
- Pirated orbs of most popular theater performances currently making tours
- Deadzone Grenade (creates a permanent anti-magic region)
- An Elven Revolver
- UNICORN MEAT
- Smuggled food/supplies for a nearby refugee camp
- Staff
- Eternally Living/Dying/Regenerating wood, moves through seasons, grows mushrooms
- 2m tall thin adamant nail, claimed to have been an ontological anchor of reality
- 100 spellbooks worth of compressed paper/spells bound in Petrified/Sealed leather
- Fulgurite Rod–captured/fossilized lighting, it is growing millimeters a year as it is still slowly striking
- A vaguely scythe-like form made of bone, the Ossicles of a truly gargantuan creature.
- A fun stick that the wizard picked up as a child and has never gotten rid of, has slowly absorbed magical essence for untold decades
- ______ extinguisher
- Fire
- Water
- Earth
- Air
- Public Displays of Affection
- Slood
- Whoopsie! Their underwear
- Heart pattern boxers
- Loincloth
- Tighty whities
- G-String
- Long johns
- Chastity Belt
- Ticket stub from an old concert
- Skaldfest 1066
- Battle of the Bards
- Fate of Faerun Tour
- Dance of the Dead, ft. Andres Duvall
- Wandstock
- Transdimensional Symphonic Orchestra in Sigil
- Small housepet
- Cat
- Dog
- Pig
- Iguana
- Rabbit (with top hat)
- Parrot
- Giant housepet
- Water Buffalo
- Camel
- Reticulated python
- Siberian Tiger
- Man-eating tarantula
- Utahraptor
- Bottle of Moonshine
- Black Lightning
- Ole Popcorn’s Rot Gut
- “Cactus Juice”
- 13th Hour Brew
- Scumble
- Actual distilled moonshine
- Fistful of occlupanids
- Manifesto about a weirdly specific ideology
- Amitarchy (rule by one’s aunties; elected or otherwise)
- Stibiocracy (rule by those with the biggest antimony reserves)
- Direct Democracy (but only for people named Todd)
- Privatized Production (of saliva)
- Punctocracy (rule by those who can take the most punches to the face)
- Public Ownership (of the teeth of that jerk from Wizard School, let’s get him!)
- A pocket dimension. Eh? Ehh~?
- The Pocket Protector(s)
- Pocket-themed superhero
- High-level adventurer party
- An entire mercenary company
- Super Sentai Squad (with mechs)
- Personal energy shield
- Just a regular pocket protector, actually
- POCKET SAND YAAAAAH!
- The wizard’s middle finger
- A smaller version of themself
- Who then rolls to see what’s in their pocket!
- This has the potential to go on infinitely
- An entire 10d10 story tall, fully outfitted wizard’s tower
- Gnomish Multitool
- Adjustable Crescent Wrench
- Airbrush
- Allen keys
- Aspergillum
- Averruncator
- Awl
- Back Scratcher
- Ball Peen Hammer
- Billows
- Bolt Cutter
- Bonesaw
- Bottle Opener
- Bronze Stylus
- Calipers
- Can Opener
- Candle Snuffer
- Caulker
- Chisel
- Clamp
- Claw Hammer
- Corkscrew
- Crochet Hooks
- Crowbar
- Distaff and Spindle
- Dowsing Rod
- Drawing Compass
- Drawknife
- Ear Pick/Spoon
- Fan
- Feather Duster
- File
- Fish Knife
- Flathead Screwdriver
- Funnel
- Glass Breaker
- Glass Cutter
- Grater
- Handdrill
- Hay Hook
- Heat Gun
- Hole Punch
- Jack
- Knife
- Ladle
- Laser Pointer
- Leaf Rake
- Machete
- Measuring Cups
- Metal Punch
- Mill
- Mini-saw
- Monkey Wrench
- Nail Cleaner
- Nail Clipper
- Oyster Fork
- Paintbrush
- Pencil Sharpener
- Philipshead Screwdriver
- Pickaxe
- Planer
- Plasma Cutter
- Plumbing Snake
- Pneumatic Hammer
- Prism
- Pruning Shears
- Reamer
- Rivet Gun
- Robertson Screwdriver
- Sandblaster
- Scale
- Scissors
- Sewing Needle
- Shovel
- Sickle
- Sieve
- Slide Rule
- Socket Wrench
- Soldering Iron
- Spanner
- Spatula
- Spirit Level
- Spork
- Spring Loaded Needle Nose Pliers
- Staplegun
- Tape Measure
- Tape Measure
- Thermometer
- Threader
- Tongs
- Toothpick
- Trowel
- Tweezers
- Umbrella
- Welder
- Whetstone
- Whisk
- Wirebrush
- Wirecutters
- Zen Garden Rake
- Zester
- Nothing