D100+ GOBLIN GENERATOR

This is nominally for Goblin Week, but we know that EVERY WEEK IS GOBLIN WEEK! We’re trying something new here as well with an open license NPC Generator by Dream Hero, which creates great goblin-like creatures! Just give the picture above a click to get a new goblin! Alternatively the direct link to the generator is here!

Roll on each of these tables as many times as you like. Goblins don’t play by the rules.

D2 Gob?

1. Gob
2. GOB!

D4 Gob Big o Smol?

1. Gob Grub! Fit in Hand!
2. Crotch Puncher!
3. Long Gob! Big as Man!
4. LORG GOB! Eat so much!

(5. SECRET HUUUUG GOB, bigger dan troll!)

D6 GOB THING

1. GOB LIVE GOB DIE GOB LIVE AGAIN (Goblins, like fairies, never truly die as long as someone believes, that includes the belief provided by other Goblins)
2. OI! ME SMELL PARTY! (Goblins can sense any sign of a party or festivity of any sort within a 10 mile radius)
3. THE KING THE KING THE KING (There is a Goblin King who will come back at their greatest hour of need. Any goblin can be the Goblin King if they really want that responsibility)
4. MARKET DAY EVERYDAY (When unobserved Goblins can always go to the Goblin Market and trade their junk for other junk)
5. AM NOT LYING, TREE LYING (Goblins absolutely believe everything they say, lie detectors of all sorts fail on them)
6. JUST RUB STICK FAST! (Goblins can start a fire even in a hurricane) 

D8 GOB OTHER THING

1. GOB GLUG GOB GLUG (Goblins can eat/drink continuously without ill effect, other than all the…by-products)
2. PUG UGLY? I FUG NOT PUG, THAT PUG OTHER THERE (For some reason, regardless how hideous this goblin might be, someone out there finds them endearing)
3. NIT NOT ARGUE, NIT EXPLAIN! (Goblins always get in the last word)
4. MOUTH WORDS BETTER! (Goblins generally can’t read, but they naturally understand all languages in a half-hearted kind of way)
5. I SORT THE MOSS BY TASTE! (Goblins have a highly sensitive tongue and can tell apart two rocks or all the individual ingredients in a dish, if they can be bothered)
6. NO ROOLS! ONLY FUN! (Goblins will go out of their way to break any imposed rules)
7. SING US A SONG O’THE SCABMAN! (Goblins can sing about anything on the spot, they’re surprisingly good a rhyming too)
8. THE BEST PARTY OF ALL (Goblins have a holiday dedicated to them, its called Goblinwatch.)

D10 GOBBO FEATURE

1. WATCH ME SNAKE TRICK! (Can unhinge their jaw to swallow anything the size of their head)
2. I HERD DAT WIZARD FART! (Exceptionally large ears, good for hearing and parachuting)
3. BEST SNIFFER! (Their nose is as sensitive as an elephant’s)
4. *SNORT* WOTCH DIS! (Can snot-rocket with the range of a crossbow)
5. *SLURP* CAUGHT IT! (Has a tongue as sticky/long/dexterous as a chameleon)
6. LANK-LURK REACH TOP SHELF! (Can triple the length of their arms for short periods)
7. BIIIIIIIIG PUPPY! (Goblins are totally into Wolves, not dogs though)
8. FUZZY LIKE MOTH-WORM (Hairy all over, like the worst teddy bear ever)
9. MADE THIS HOLE FOR YOU! (Big mole-like mitts can dig/burrow as well as…well an equally sized mole)
10. PET DANGER NOODLE LIKES TO KISS LODO ON FACE (Immune to animal venoms/poisons)

D10 GOBBO FEATURE CONT

1. NOT TRASH! TRASURR! (Goblins can find anything as long as it was misplaced or intentionally thrown away)
2. ROLL CALL! (With enough shouting, a single goblin can attract at least a dozen more goblins even if there should not be a way for them to hear or reach them)
3. NO IT MINE NEVER LETTING GO! (Even in death a Goblin’s bite cannot be pried off without a crowbar and a strength check.)
4. SUGAR? SUGAR!!! SUGGGG—-(Consuming enough sugar, or coffee, will effectively act as a Haste spell for a Goblin)
5. SNAT NAMED ALL SPOTS! (Goblins are immune to disease, but do show the outward symptoms and remain vectors)
6. LOB HAVE HEART! LOB HAVE THREE! (Goblins have redundant internal organs)
7. FROND NOT IMAGINARY, FROND REAL! (Goblins can interact with illusions and hallucinations as though they were solid)
8. WHAT MINE YOURS WHAT YOURS MINE (Goblins have no concept of ownership, they’re not stealing and they’d be entirely fine if you wanted to take their earwax rag)
9. EYE SEE EVERYTHING (Goblins have natural wizard vision similar to cats.)
10. LOOK! SNORB IS DRAGON! (Goblin farts are very flammable)

D12 MORE GOBGOB FEATURES

1. THE HAG IS NEAR! (Goblins always know where the closest Witch is)
2. HEAVE HO TEAMWORK! (Goblins can perform extreme feats of teamwork, in the vein of Fire Ants becoming a boat or a bridge)
3. TODAY SVEK FEEL MORE LIKE KEVS! (Goblins can, with a force of will, change their secondary sex characteristics however they please)
4. BLURPLE IS REAL COLOR! (Goblins come in all colors, even ones that we haven’t discovered yet)
5. DOOR WAS UNLOCKED, THISTLE SWEAR! ( Locks can delay Goblins, but never for long)
6. NO GODS ONLY GOBLIN KING (The goblins have no gods and no gods have goblins, not really)
7. MAGIC JUMP! (Goblins can jump like a scaled up flea)
8. MAGIC DANCE! (If five or more goblins do nothing but dance and sing, all other non goblins must save or join in)
9. IS ART! (Over the course of a day, a Goblin can produce enough earwax and phlegm to create a goblin-sized “statue” made of said…materials)
10. SPARKLE FINGARS! (Goblins can cast the equivalent of Prestidigitation but only to muck things up, produce stinks, make food taste rancid, and make swamp-lights)
11. GRUB HAVE THE GOOD KUSH! (Goblins know where to get the BEST drugs)
12. ZIGZAG HOLD ON REAL TIGHT, FLY FAST (They’ve got a giant Bat to ride)

D20 YES MORE GIB MORE

1. TEETHSES GROW BACK (Uh…teeth grow back I suppose)
2. Y SO STICKY? (can slowly climb walls, glue things to themselves)
3. HAHA SPRONG BOUNCE (bounces, takes no fall damage)
4. GREASY PIG GREASY PIG (super slick, hard to grab, slides along the ground like a penguin)
5. IF NO WANT GOB WHY DOOR CRACKED? (Squeeze into any space large enough to fit teeth)
6. PROUD OF GROSS FISH SON. HAS EVEN MOAR TEETHSES. (Mutate to fit any environment after a generation)
7. MAKES LOTS BABY FAST (ultra fecundity) 
8. HAHA! ME KNOW YOU KNOW ME KNOW YOU KNOW! (Insanely Cunning, cunningly insane)
9. BLACKSMITH? PSH. SWORD IS JUST STICK AND TAPE AND SPIT! (Junk Inventiveness)
10. TURN INTO TOADSTOOL IF REALLY STILL (Can also turn into a rusty mailbox)
11. HECK YEAH META… METAMORPHO… MORPUH… HECK YEAH FREAKY CHANGEY THING! (Eat a bunch, cocoon, become something else)
12. BEWORE GOBLIN CURSE e.g. “I hope yer nads get nits!” “Piss blood wanker!” “This is the song that never ends! It goes on and on and on”
13. I SAW SPITTAKE EAT WHOLE TIRE ONCE (Can eat anything they can stick into their mouth)
14. MY MOM WAS CARDBOARD BOX (Spontaneously generate anywhere with enough clutter.)
15. ME AM TIRE NOW! (You are what you eat, eat enough of a thing and gain its power)
16. LIKE ELF BUT BETTER (Fey atavism, has wings or glows.)
17. THIS HOW YOU THROW PUNCHES (Can remove and reattach body parts)
18. FAM’LY TREE? MORE LIKE FAM’LY OUTBREAK (Spread Goblinism, its catching)
19. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (Can be stretched like taffy without snapping or feeling pain.)
20. LIKE SNOWFLAKE WITH TEETH (Each is completely unique and unlike any other goblin.)

D100 WOT MAKE GOB SPESH-AL

1. The Anti goblin- Invert (somehow) everything rolled so far. They are still a goblin.
2. The Ante goblin- The Goblin that came Before. Before any event of sufficient chaos (an event that may spawn interested Chaos-Toads) this Goblin shows up beforehand like a little snot-covered herald.
3. The Auntie goblin- Dresses in a voluminous floral patterned patchwork, gives kisses that paralyze as a Ghoul’s touch. Get kissed more than 3 times and save or become a Goblin.
4. “Let me see what you have.” “A KNIFE!”- Bare ass naked, this goblin can still produce a knife or shiv from seemingly nowhere
5. This goblin can spit all the colors of the rainbow.
6. This goblin spit their own teeth with the force and range of a flintlock
7. This goblin can speak with “vermin” including possums and racoons
8. Can, in times of desperation, bite into their legs and swallow themselves, ending up back in the Fey realms
9. Deflates like a balloon when “killed” but comes back to life if anyone blows them back up
10. This Goblin is, disastrously, trained as a Clown 
11. This Goblin is technically NOT a Goblin, but a form of Mushroom. 
12. This goblin can spoil milk by staring at it hard enough. They do this to make cheese.
13. This goblin has an ancestral barrow or mound that they can instinctively orient themselves towards
14. They’re dreadfully afraid of squirrels and nothing else.
15. They can remove their entire set of teeth to create an effective beartrap.
16. Drinking a caffeinated beverage will allow the goblin to essentially Time Stop for 1d4 rounds
17. By blowing on their thumb, this goblin can enlarge their fists like a cartoon.
18. The goblins of this tribe collectively ridge a terrible terrible steed 
19. The universe is one big Rube Goldburg machine waiting for a Goblin to stumble into the starting domino. If a butterfly’s wingbeat could create a hurricane, a Goblin’s trip can result in a piano dropping on someone’s head.
20. This goblin, given a few moments to rummage in their spog/sporran, can produce a stick of dynamite. 
21. This goblin is a fully fledged Filthomancer.
22. Given a straight 100’ line to run/wind up, a Goblin can unleash a GOBLIN PUNCH, which is more or less a pelvis shattering groin kick.
23. This Goblin has a fully prehensile tail.
24. This goblin can save to catch and eat magical effects then burp them back out within an hour.
25. This goblin has been bound as a familiar to a spellcaster, with all benefits and drawbacks associated.
26. This goblin can produce a high pitched keening capable of shattering glass and eardrums
27. This goblin is especially furtive and would rather spend their time quietly in a burrow than causing mischief
28. A goblin who eats another goblin becomes a fusion of their traits, personality, and size.
29. A goblin cut in twain will eventually grow into two separate goblins, like an earthworm
30. Goblins have perfect memories. They just like to embellish. 
31. If enough goblins believe something to be true, it will BECOME true. At least locally.
32. If this goblin closes their eyes, covers their ears, and stops breathing, they become invisible to non-goblins
33. Left newly washed in a sterilized locked room, this goblin will be grubby and sticky in under 5 minutes.
34. This goblin came from the Inner World and is used to walking on the Underside of the crust. If they’re not careful they’ll Fall Up.
35. This goblin can turn almost any object into an instrument. Frog Bagpipes are a favorite.
36. If this goblin incubates an egg, the egg will hatch into a hybrid of the animal and goblin.
37. Moss is constantly growing on this goblin, giving them some camouflage and also providing them with easy access snacks.
38. This goblin has formed a symbiotic relationship with an Ooze who they ride inside of without harm.
39. This is not actually a Goblin, but it is in fact a strange sort of Insect.
40. A lot more than just two goblins can fit inside of a trenchcoat.
41. This goblin was raised in a Labyrinth and cannot get lost
42. This is a Gob-Knight and is fitted out with full armor, a named sword and a riding boar
43. This goblin had a dip in radioactive waste, roll 4 times on your favorite mutation table.
44. This goblin has a metal plate in their head and can pick up electronic and magical communication if they dial their ears correctly.
45. This goblin drank a LOT of glo-sticks at a rave and now glows in the dark.
46. This goblin has gremlin ancestry, their mere touch causes anything more complex than a stick or a knapped rock to start malfunctioning.
47. This goblin once consumed so much psilocybin that they witnessed the Akashic Record. Once, any only once, they can answer literally *ANY* question completely accurately.
48. This goblin enjoys masquerading as a helpful house-fairy (like a brownie or a nisse) until it has established a good base within a home’s walls/cellar/attic
49. This goblin’s second stomach is a natural fermenter and they can expel/excrete high proof alcohol of various sorts depending on their diet.
50. Vampire Goblins drink sweat, spit, and mucus instead of blood
51. One of this goblin’s hands has seven fingers and they know how to cast a horrible horrible spell 
52. This goblin can cartwheel with the speed of a galloping horse. They have a pact with BUER for this talent.
53. This goblin can set themselves on fire to no detriment to themselves.
54. If this goblin drinks anything carbonated, they will explode with the force of a concussion grenade. 
55. This goblin speaks in an obnoxiously cute “hewwo” way up until they shank you.
56. This goblin can belch a stink so foul that it acts as knock-out gas.
57. This goblin is a scissor whizz, especially with hair. Their style is…experimental.
58. This goblin has not slept since they were spawned.
59. This goblin can fall deep asleep without trying, large snot bubble included
60. This goblin possesses a red cap, iron boots, and an especially insatiable craving for meat.
61. This goblin can pull off some sweet skateboard tricks.
62. For some reason this goblin is wearing a french maid outfit and believes it grants them great/terrible power. It might actually.
63. All goblins are collectors, but this one is especially good at it. As long as it is an item in their collection niche, it doesn’t count against their lifting capacity.
64. This goblin is a wereshark, that’s right a Goblin Shark
65. This goblin has a side gig selling witch beauty products, totally a pyramid scheme
66. This goblin, and its many siblings, were grown in a cauldron. They carry it around as a home, soup pot, crade, and grave. 
67. This goblin stuck their tongue into a d3r0 Conspiracy Engine and now won’t stop ranting around how Time is a Cube and the World is Flat
68. This goblin found out about halloween and figured it would be a sweet chance at free candy, but they’ve not quite figured out it is only one day a year.
69. Anything remotely lewd will make this goblin laugh uproariously for hours on end.
70. This one is in debt to Jack-O-Irons and needs to collect 100 heads to pay it off. Right now they mostly have a bunch of turnips. 
71. This goblin ate your pet, but is happy to get you a replacement. How about this tarantula?
72. This goblin graduated from Ivory Tower University, they have the certificate, pointed shoes and staff to prove it. Nevermind the blood.
73. This goblin has a brooklyn accent, a newsboy cap, and a plan to get rich.
74. This goblin has a unicycle and absolutely no fear of heights. 
75. This goblin wants to be an adventurer just like you, please teach Tuk all you know.
76. There is no rule saying that you can’t be goblincore and cottagecore at the same time.
77. This goblin ate a Prince and stole their crown. Now they have weird powers.
78. This goblin knows the secret disgusting habits of elves and will tell anyone within earshot.
79. This goblin has read all of Professor Grozug G Goblin’s works and has gotten Minion of the Month for two years running.
80. These four goblins are in a grunge band but they took grunge a little too literally.
81. This goblin found a synthetic person rusting in the forest. They’re teaching them about friendship and stuff.
82. This goblin has watched every episode of Kung Fu at least twice and is now certain they’re a master of Shaolin martial arts.
83. This goblin lives in your drains and can squeeze up through the toilet.
84. This goblin is not a goblin but a minor local nature deity whom the local goblins mimicked the form of to steal offerings.
85. This goblin has 2d4 extra limbs, each with a mind of their own.
86. This goblin, and several others, are actually behind every piece of Bigfoot “evidence” 
87. This goblin is growing from another goblin’s head.
88. This goblin stuck their finger so far up their nose that they actually hit gold. They’re totes rich now.
89. This goblin is now your waifu/husbando 
90. OH SHIT THIS GOBLIN HAS A FORBIDDEN CHAINSAW
91. This goblin has an impressive rack…of antlers. 
92. This goblin was certain they were a goblin until two other goblins told them they were not. Currently suffering an identity crisis.
93. Can count to twenty without resorting to their toes and they’re very proud of this.
94. This goblin lives in a pot and thinks Diogenes was the greatest thinker of all time. They’ve got a lamp and a plucked chicken
95. This goblin is friends with all the magpies in the region and pulls off some amazing heists with their help.
96. This goblin is a 7th level Middle Manager in their Desks & Dollars games. 
97. This is not a goblin, this is an escapee from the local kindergarten. 
98. Cross your eyes, spin around five times and hold out a hand. Roll as many times as fingers you see.
99. Ask the nearest person under the age of 10 to describe a goblin, that’s your goblin now.
100. Ignore everything else, this goblin is actually David Bowie

Some animals to mix with your goblin!

1. Sphinx Cats
2. Opossum (The Virginia Kind)
3. Possum (The Aussie Kind)
4. Bat (Like a Hammerhead or a Horseshoe)
5. Rat
6. Kangaroo mouse
7. Naked Mole Rat
8. Any sort of lizard
9. Xoloitzcuintle
10. Aye-Aye
11. Proboscis Monkey
12. Star-Nosed Mole
13. Deep Sea Fish (Blobfish, Anglerfish, Gulper Eel)
14. Mandrill
15. Babirusa
16. Pirana
17. Surinam Toad
18. Turkey Vulture
19. Amazonian River Dolphin
20. Sarcastic Fringehead